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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24663805">Stay</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostClimber/pseuds/GhostClimber'>GhostClimber</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Katekyou Hitman Reborn!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Porn, M/M, b26?, fluff not fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:54:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,260</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24663805</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostClimber/pseuds/GhostClimber</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Xanxus wants Squalo to stay after sex.<br/>Squalo doesn't seem to get the hint.<br/>Will they ever be able to talk to each other without making a mess?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Superbi Squalo/Xanxus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Xanxus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you to Paulina and Pthumerian who encouraged me to post this.<br/>More will come, I'm not done with making Xanxus suffer!<br/>(do you happen to have any really good hiding spots? I think he's after me ^^')</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Xanxus looked at the clock again: five to nine in the evening.<br/>
In a few minutes, Squalo would arrive for their usual meeting: an hour of aggressive, unchained sex, disguised as a work meeting with all the others. They were smart enough to have smelled the coffee, after all Squalo was not exactly quiet, but the very Rain Guardian denied the matter with strenght and Xanxus had always gotten along.<br/>
But it couldn't go on forever, he told himself. Sooner or later he would have felt the urge to tell the world that Squalo was his, and his only: Cavallone, since he had started to flirt with Hibari Kyoya (talk about dying wishes), wasn't a problem anymore. But Squalo was undeniably gorgeous, and at every meeting, every party, by God, at every fucking trip to the supermarket downtown there was some asshole flirting with him. Males, females, undetermined gendered dudes, Squalo slaughtered everyone's hearts. More, as the Varia's strategist he couldn't even avoid every conversation. Not all the times, at least.<br/>
And Xanxus always got pissed.<br/>
And he ended up fucking him with more violence than necessary, a thing he hated, even if he would have died before confessing it, even if just with Squalo.<br/>
Xanxus looked at the clock again and intercepted the minutehand going on twelve. In that very moment, Squalo knocked.<br/>
-Come in.- Xanxus said, already laid beneath the red silken blankets of his enormous bed. Enormous and empty, he had to add: when he had ordered that king-size bed he had hoped that Squalo would have had at least the temptation to stay for the night, just to try it out, but nothing, just a blind joke about how they could stuck an engine to it and use it as a yacht to go on holiday all together.<br/>
Squalo came in. As usual, his uniform was perfectly ironed: Xanxus knew that Squalo cared a lot about his own appearance, and that was why he always threw liquor filled glasses at him. At the bottom of his heart, he hoped to push him against any burden of tolerance and see him getting undressed in front of everyone, but until then he had had no luck.<br/>
-Boss.- Squalo greeted him, and Xanxus lifted himself up from the bed with a sensual movement. He got closer to him, took his chin with his fingers and kissed him without sparing an inch of tongue; when he leaned back, he realized with pleasure that Squalo was heavy breathing, his cheeks were red and his perfect trousers clearly showed a bulge.<br/>
He turned around without speaking and opened the cocktail cabinet: -The usual?- Squalo hesitated.<br/>
-Yeah. Yes, the usual.- he answered after a while. Xanxus took the bottle of vodka to prepare him his usual Vodka Lemon, then took Jack Daniel's and coke as well, for his own Lemmy. -What's wrong with you, scum?- he asked, showing him his back, -You hesitated.- Squalo sighed.<br/>
-Nothing, it's been a long fucking day, that's all.<br/>
-Wanna tell me?- Xanxus asked. Squalo remained silent for a while, then muttered: -You'd get bored.<br/>
-Test me.<br/>
-VOI! Did you beat your head or something?<br/>
-No. The matters you work on are my business, in case you forgot. The Boss is me.<br/>
-Well, since you've been delegating me every single piece of bullshit for the last five years, I confess I had had a doubt.- Squalo replied, and for a second Xanxus had the temptation to smash the glass on his damn head instead of handing it to him. -Anyway, nothing relevant, the usual bunch of idiots that can't find their own ass with a map and a torch asking to enter the Varia Family. A mountain of paperwork for Belphegor and Fran's last mission. Lussuria wanted to fix next week's menu. Levi put himself on isolation because he caught a stomach virus. The plumber to be called to fix the sewers...<br/>
-I hope the last is not because of Levi.<br/>
-Keep hoping.- Squalo raised his glass and Xanxus hit it with his, making them ting. Xanxus barely wetted his lips: he loved to watch Squalo taking the first sip. The swordsman licked his lips, inclined the glass, his Adam apple sprang up and down, pulling the delicate skin on his white neck, then moved his lips from the glass and frowned a bit for the sour taste of the cocktail. Only at that point, Xanxus actually drank.<br/>
-Can we start, Boss? Tomorrow's another shitty day and I have to get up early.- Squalo asked, putting his glass down to unbutton his jacket.<br/>
-Make sure you don't suffocate me under all this romanticism.- Xanxus answered, sarcastic, and Squalo froze for a second. He looked at him and said: -No offense... you don't even know where romanticism lives. I mean, I'm not even sure you know the meaning of that word.<br/>
-You do?- Xanxus replied, then got closer. Squalo was in front of the drawer he had put his glass on, and Xanxus pushed him against it, forcing himself between his thighs. He kissed him again and caressed his bulged crotch. Squalo put his arms against Xanxus' neck and pushed a leg between his; his long muscles brushed against Xanxus' testicles, and he muttered a moan of lust.<br/>
Him mouth left Squalo's to go to his neck: with a tiny bit of sadism, Xanxus decided that this time he was going to leave him a nice love bite.<br/>
-You... see... I was... ri...ght?- Squalo puffed.<br/>
-Mh?<br/>
-This is not romanticism, Xanxus, this is seduction...- Squalo's words were suffocated by his heavy breathing; before going under for good, he managed to say: -But that's ok for me.- Xanxus unbuttoned his trousers and pushed them down together with his underpants, revealing his already towering erection. For some absurd reason, he had the sudden desire to take it in his mouth, but Squalo was faster: he undressed him and kneeled in front of him, then every shadow of logical thought disappeared, destroyed by the knowing touch of his tongue.</p><p>Forty-five minutes later, Xanxus came for the third time in Squalo's welcoming body, holding him against his own chest in a hectic grip which led him to feel Squalo's muscular back. He slowly recovered from the tremor and let him go; Squalo laid on his back and masturbated himself with his eyes closed, under Xanxus' lascivious stare. He loved to watch him while he touched himself, and it was just because of his tiredness that he didn't ask for another round at the sight of Squalo's cheeks becoming red, his slender body arching on the push of the orgasm; he paid him back for the show with a rude kiss on his lips and laid down next to him.<br/>
With his heart still pounding, Xanxus allowed himself to close his eyes: he wanted to order Squalo to stay for the night, but first of all he had to calm his breath and heartbeat. He didn't want the command to come out as the shy request of a lovely little girl.<br/>
His mind peacefully wandered along mysterious, bumpy roads, like a wind-driven leave roaming clear skies, exploring unknown lands, stopping on everything and nothing at the same time. A bee, Xanxus thought, his mind was like an industrious bee flying from flower to flower, without thinking, just answering the nature-imposed need to gain pollen.<br/>
He felt Squalo getting up, the mattress at his side of the bed raising, denied his weight, and turned his tongue in his mouth to gain that very bit of salivation he needed to speak like a human being.<br/>
Too late.<br/>
Squalo ducked in front of him, Xanxus understood by the mattress bending down under his hand, and moved a lock of hair from Xanxus' face. With an unusually low and mellow voice, Squalo said: -How can it be that you frown even when you're sleeping?- then, his thumb caressed the space between his eyebrows, a bare touch that unfolded the expression wrinkles on his forehead. Xanxus felt himself invaded by a delicious calm and relaxed his tongue, which he instinctively had pressed against his palate.<br/>
-That's better.- Squalo said, then his hand travelled along Xanxus' cheek, as soft as a plume. Already half asleep, Xanxus heard him say: -Sleep well, my Sky. I love you.- he tried to stop him, to call him, but it was too late already. The trip to the sleep, eased by the comforting warmth of Squalo's Flames, had already begun, and Xanxus slid into the darkness of a blissful night.</p><p>A thunderous knock on the door called him back to life the morning after.<br/>
-VOI! Boss, get your ass out of the bed, today we have lunch at the Cavallone's and you know if I go alone I always risk to slice Bronco up!- Xanxus got up with difficulty, still dumbed by the drowse.<br/>
-What's the fucking time?- he asked in a caked voice, then leaned against the pillow and took the glass of orange juice that Squalo was handing him. Unlike him, the Rain Guardian seemed to have slept badly.<br/>
-Good morning to you. It's twelve past ten.-<br/>
-Fuck you, scum, your good morning has been a “Get your ass out of the bed”!- Xanxus protested. Squalo shot him a dirty look, then unkindly put the bed table over his knees.<br/>
-We're leaving at half past eleven, be sure to be ready.- he said, then went out, leaving Xanxus alone with a cappuccino he suddenly didn't want to drink and a croissant he didn't want to eat.<br/>
Xanxus sipped the juice, thoughtful. He asked himself if Squalo really told him those sweet words the night before: judging from his latest behaviour, it seemed crazy to only have imagined it.<br/>
Still, he hoped so, somehow.<br/>
Alright, not only somehow, he just hoped so. Those muttered and unheard-believed words had warmed and calmed him much more than the Flames Squalo had given him to cradle him to sleep.<br/>
He forced himself to eat his breakfast, to avoid Lussuria's anxious questions that surely would have come if he sent the trail back untouched, then got up and slowly got dressed. He put on his best dress shirt, in fact a Christmas gift from Squalo, then put a tie around his neck and froze: he hadn't the slightest idea of how to make a decent knot. At the fifth unsuccessful tentative, he gave up and called Squalo on the intercom: -Scum, I need you, bring your ass here.<br/>
-Do you necessarily need me? I'm trying to finish a thing.<br/>
-I need an idiot to make a knot on my neck-tie!<br/>
-I'm sending Lussuria.- Squalo interrupted the conversation without any word and after a few minutes Xanxus heard a knock on the door.  -Come in!<br/>
-Here I am, Boss!- Lussuria announced, -So! Windsor, Half Windsor, Prince Albert, Trinity...?<br/>
-The fuck are you blabbering?- Xanxus interrupted him.<br/>
-What knot do you want on your tie?- Lussuria clarified.<br/>
-How the fuck do I know, the one Squalo does!- Xanxus pressed again the button on the intercom: -Scum!<br/>
-VOI! Again?! The fuck do you...<br/>
-Squ chan, darling, what knot do you make for him?- Lussuria asked. Squalo sighed and answered: -Kelvin. Now, may I, pwetty pwease, finish this fucking report before the year two thousand and never?!<br/>
-Sorry for the inconvenience and thank you!- Lussuria said, then moved Xanxus' finger from the intercom button and started to tie a knot. -You know...- he said, after a while, -You should treat him better.<br/>
-Bullshit. That's how things work among the two of us and he well knows it.- Xanxus answered, then opened his mouth to add an intimation to mind his damn business, but Lussuria interrupted him: -That doesn't mean that Squ chan doesn't feel like shit.<br/>
-The fuck are you saying?- Xanxus blurted. Lussuria kindly pulled the tie, then put it on his chest and looked in his eyes: -Can I be brutally honest?<br/>
-Shoot.- Xanxus roared.<br/>
-You're not the one who hears him crying every night over the wall. Crying and telling himself that he has to put a stop to it, that this was the last time, things like...- Lussuria's speech was cut in half. Xanxus had lifted him up and hanged him up against the wall, fuming with rage. But the Sun Guardian wasn't intimidated: -If I were you, I'd try to show him somehow that you reciprocate his feelings. And I'm telling you this as a friend, not as a subordinate.- Xanxus slowly let him go. Lussuria got on his feet and brushed Xanxus' jacket's sleeves, not concerned at all, at least so it seemed. -Here you go.- he said, when he decided he had fixed all the wrinkles he could, -Now you better go downstairs, or you won't have the time to have a drink before going out for lunch. And you well know you can't stand Dino when you're sober.- Lussuria smiled and left.  Xanxus slowly went to the living room and poured himself two fingers of scotch, ignoring Belphegor and Fran who were teasing each other. He sat on his favourite sofa and thought to what Lussuria had said.<br/>
Squalo cried for him every night? Squalo wanted to leave him? How did they get to that point?<br/>
-Bel senpai, stop it, you're hurting me!- Fran complained, penetrating into Xanxus' semi conscience, and the Boss focused the two youngsters of the group.<br/>
-Ah, what a spineless kohai!- Belphegor replied, -Let me see.- with rude gestures, the bloody prince lifted Fran's shirt, showing some scratches and a worst cut.<br/>
-What a gutless, you bleed when I cut you! Stay there, I'll get the disinfectant.- he left the room and Xanxus asked Fran: -Why the hell you play with him if he uses you as a pin cushion?<br/>
-Because he knows when he goes too far, and then he takes care of me.- Fran answered, as if it was crystal clear. Xanxus kept looking at him, hoping that the brat would add something, but the illusionist stood still, sitting on the floor, waiting for Belphegor to come back.<br/>
-VOI! What's that, a miracle?- Squalo thundered from the doorstep.<br/>
-What?- Xanxus asked.<br/>
-You're ready in time!<br/>
-You said half past eleven, it's a quarter to twelve.- Xanxus pointed out.<br/>
-I said half past eleven knowing you are usually late of half an hour at least.- Squalo replied, crossing his arms on his chest, -Well, for once we won't be late.- Xanxus got up and went as to pass by Squalo, but the latter stopped him putting a hand on his chest.<br/>
-What's up?<br/>
-What fucking knot did Lussuria made you? I said Kelvin, not Cape. Stay still.- Xanxus watched Squalo's hand undoing the knot and tying up another one, different and more simple.<br/>
-Cape is good for slender faces, how could he think it could fit with your jawline, I just don't know...- Squalo muttered, moving to one side to let Belphegor in; the prince was coming back with the first aid kit. Xanxus saw his blond hair disappear under the table, leaned forward and put a tiny kiss on Squalo's lips. Getting back again, he saw the veins on his neck bulging and prepared his ears for the undebatable “VOI!”... which didn't come. Squalo slapped both hands on his mouth and looked at him, bewildered, his cheeks almost burning.<br/>
-So, we're going?- Xanxus asked, faking indifference; Squalo seemed to be unable to react, so Xanxus took him by his wrist and pulled him outside, where a car with a driver was waiting for them. After ten minutes of complete silence, Xanxus thundered: -Do you have to keep your mouth shut for all the lunch, too? Because I'm telling you, I don't want to chat with Bronco.<br/>
-What possessed you?- Squalo asked.<br/>
-Did it bother you?- Xanxus asked back. Squalo bit his lip, thoughtful, then eventually answered: -No, of course.<br/>
-Then, case closed.- Xanxus decided, then leaned against the seat and purposefully looked outside the window.</p><p>The lunch was neverending.<br/>
Neverending and as pleasant as a cheese grater between the buttcheecks.<br/>
Cavallone was in a nostalgic mood and had set up with Squalo a long commemoration of their high school memories; when they came to the recalling of a dissertation about how the name “killer whale” was inappropriate, which seemed to have costed the two a severe punishment, Squalo seemed to have already forgotten his troubles. He burst into laughter, flaming a wave of jealousy in Xanxus; for what seemed like hours, he and Cavallone switched between laughter and the words “sea panda”, then Squalo's hand perched on Xanxus' knee and he felt invaded by a peaceful sense of calm.<br/>
-I still say we were right.- Cavallone said, cleaning up a tear that had been squeezed from his eyes from the laughters.<br/>
-Yeah...- Squalo answered in a nostalgic tone, then he turned towards Xanxus and said: -It's getting late. Boss, shall we go back to the base?<br/>
-It was about time.- Xanxus replied, still frowning. The afternoon had blown up, Squalo seemed to be as drunk as a mariner and he could wave goodbye the idea of talking seriously to him.<br/>
They went back to Varia Mansion in a cold silence.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Squalo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>-Boss.- Squalo called from the doorstep, -I prepared you a hot bath.<br/>-Mh.- Xanxus got up and followed Squalo to the main bathroom. The tub was filled with hot water and bubbles and on a small table next to it there was a book and a bottle of red wine. There was just one thing he didn't seem to like: -Only one glass?<br/>-You only had one mouth, last time I checked.- Squalo answered, in the weak tentative to make some sarcasm. Xanxus undid his tie knot and ordered: -Go take another and come back here.<br/>-Xanxus, what the fuck is wrong with you, seriously?<br/>-What's wrong is that you look like shit. Take that fucking glass, come back here and take off your clothes.- Squalo hesitated one more second, then got out without saying anything.</p>
<p>In the kitchen, Squalo lifted a hand to the glasses cabinet; he was shaking. He put his arm back, torn, trying to focus only on the fact that if he had tried to take a glass while he was trembling he would only manage to obtain a floor covered in shattered glass.<br/>-Did he already break the glass?- Lussuria asked from the door, then sighed: -I swear to God, sooner or later I'll get him one of those plastic glasses. For children. No spilling technology.<br/>-VOI! Couldn't you put on some noisy shoes? You always appear from thin air!- Squalo said back, without actually answering.<br/>-What's wrong, Squ chan? Another sleepless night?- Lussuria asked. Squalo turned back and looked at him: a colourful queer, irritating just for his way of presenting himself, and still he was the only one among the Varias to have kept some kind of a good heart. Alright, an immense good heart.<br/>-Xanxus asked me to take a bath with him. Well, asked...<br/>-Asked his way.- Lussuria giggled, and Squalo couldn't help but arching a corner of his mouth. Then, the Sun Guardian got closer and put a hand on his shoulder: -Take the chance to make things clear. Don't expect declarations of eternal love, but I'm sure he...<br/>-VOI! What are you saying?<br/>-My room is right next door to yours.- Lussuria said no more and Squalo turned pale. In front of his embarrassment, Lussuria leaned forward, took a red wine glass and gave it to him: -Go and make him yours, sweetheart!- he encouraged him, then he winked and gave him a pat on his butt.<br/>Squalo rapidly went back to the bathroom: his heartbeat seemed to get faster each second that passed, and the possibility of having a mortal stroke wasn't completely mad, in his opinion. He opened the door and found himself looking at Xanxus, already immersed in the hot water.<br/>-Took you a long time.- the Boss said, without turning to look at him.<br/>-Lussuria was in the kitchen. He started talking as he always does.- Squalo answered, then he quickly got undressed and immersed himself at the other side of the tub.<br/>-You're too thin, scum. You aren't eating enough.<br/>-VOI! That's none of your business!- Squalo answered, blushing, then he tried to get comfortable while keeping his hair outside the water: he had just washed them and didn't want to pass the next hours drying them. He muttered: -I should have taken a hair band, too.- as if he had called it, one appeared under his nose, held by Xanxus' fingers.<br/>-VOI! Where does this come from?<br/>-Do you want it or not?- Xanxus waved the hair band under Squalo's nose, and he took it; he rapidly braided his hair, then rolled it up and fixed it on his head. A few shorter locks fell on his face, and Xanxus' hand run to push them behind his ears: -Shall I pour the wine?- he asked, and Squalo nodded.<br/>A quick toast, a ting that was different from the ones they got from the heavy glass cocktail glasses that Xanxus had in his room: a musical note, a vibration of pure Bohemia crystal that echoed for long in the air filled with humidity, then they both drank. Xanxus' flaming eyes didn't leave Squalo's, not even for a second.<br/>-Tell me what's going on with you.- Xanxus eventually said, putting the glass back on the small table, -I'm not armed, so you can be honest.- Squalo hesitated for a long time, hoping that Xanxus took the hint and changed subject. But it didn't happen, and with a heavy heart Squalo said: -I don't want to do it anymore. It's killing me.- Xanxus didn't answer, but he started to glance around without focusing on anything. After playing with his own hands for a while, he took the glass and drank a sip of wine. Squalo tried not to fool himself: for sure, he hadn't seen those hands shaking, or if he had it sure was a nervous reaction. Xanxus always got what he wanted, and that probably was an unexpected change of things that enraged him a lot.<br/>-Give me one last night.- he eventually muttered, -Then I'll let you be. But let's make love one last time.<br/>-Make... love?!- Squalo answered, bewildered, -VOI! Does that look like making love, to you? That's fucking, Xanxus, there's a big difference!<br/>-And what do you know about it?- Xanxus asked. Rage was starting to pour out of his glance.<br/>-With Dino Cavallone I made love. With you, I just get screwed.- Squalo revealed, then got pale. His old relationship with the blond was not a secret, but he never focused on details; maybe, accomplice the afternoon spent remembering the good old times, Squalo had started to recall small details that made his first love so special. He didn't know if it was an effect of the time, but the cure and the care with which Cavallone had always treated seemed the furthest thing from Xanxus' aggressive, egoistic fucks; just to tell one thing, he rarely let Squalo come first, and only casually.<br/>He saw him clench the glass' stem and prepared himself to get hit with it on his head, but Xanxus impressed him. He put the chalice on the table, then turned towards him and said: -Then, show me the difference. Tonight.- Squalo hesitated. One last night could be like one last cigarette, one last drink, one last dose: in other words, just a prelude to the undaunted continuation of the addiction. Then he straightened his back: it could be, but he wouldn't allow it. He would make love with Xanxus and then he would make him suffer his loss. If it was necessary, he would ask Dino for a place to stay: he was sure the old friend would hide him, after all he was an eternal child that didn't ask for any better than sticking his nose into the other's businesses.<br/>-Alright.- he gave in, then he leaned forward and kissed Xanxus. The kiss was different from the many they had exchanged, he tried to put in it everything he felt for Xanxus: love, hate, awe, hatred. A neverending series of contrasted feelings, mixed to the soft touch of his mouth and his tongue, a kiss to which Xanxus replied after an unusual hesitation. Squalo put his arms around his neck and his hand went through his thick hair. With a shiver, he felt Xanxus' arms against his waist, pushing against his skin to deepen the contact.<br/>-Shall we go to your room?- Squalo proposed, moving back just an inch. He managed to huff his request on Xanxus' lips and got the satisfaction of seeing him shivering.<br/>-Make way.- Xanxus answered, and Squalo got out of the tub. He covered himself with a towel, untied his hair and headed to the Boss' room; he heard a tingling noise behind his back and turned around a little: Xanxus had taken the glasses and the bottle and was following him, completely naked. His erected penis was an exclamation point in his crotch's nest of dark, curly hairs. Walking in front of the living room, Squalo saw Belphegor that, as quick as a lightning bolt, covered Fran's eyes with a hand. The illusionist's protest raised and was promptly suffocated, who knows how.<br/>Squalo entered Xanxus' room and got to the bed, where he laid on his back. In a faint voice, he said: -First of all, sometimes you could look at me.- Xanxus put the glasses and the bottle on the bedside table and didn't reply. He laid over him and kissed him; Squalo jumped, realising the difference between that kiss and the billions he had received from him before. Xanxus' hands wandered on his body, frantic, gluttonous, picking up tiny droplets of soapy water that were still pearling his skin.<br/>Squalo was drowning in his own emotions: as the addicted well knew, the infamous “last dose” had always to taste delicious, as if it acted on that part of the mind that still doesn't feel like stopping, it bends the determination and kills every good proposition. But no, he said to himself, he would stay strong on the position he had taken: one last night, and then it's all over. And who cares it his heart would have broken, after all Xanxus had drained it to the point that there wasn't much left of it anyway. Feeling his erection already pushing against his back, he reluctantly left Xanxus' lips and said: -Slow down, I have to be prepared!<br/>-What? You never do it!- Xanxus answered, lifting himself up on his arms. Squalo avoided his glance: -Not in front of you. I know you always want to cut the crap.- he said, trying to simulate a nonchalant tone, as if it was something of small importance. But the truth was that, after a few times when Xanxus refused to prepare him and he had to stay strong not to faint for the pain, he simply had taken his precautions: that didn't mean, however, that it didn't bother him.<br/>-Why you never told me?<br/>-VOI! I was busy trying not to die from pain!- Squalo blurted, and Xanxus jumped. He left the bed and silently went to the restroom, leaving Squalo to curse himself for having ruined that last, perfect night, while his erection faded; for sure, Xanxus was asking himself why he was still staying with that spineless brat. -This one?- the Boss' voice pierced through Squalo tormented thoughts; in one hand, he was holding a vase of lube.<br/>-Ah... yes, it's that one.- Squalo answered, then followed Xanxus with his eyes while the latter sat on the edge of the bed, opened the vase, took off the protective film and shoved his fingers in the lube. Then, Xanxus looked at him. The expression on his face was indecipherable, but his erection was still towering; he laid at Squalo's side and kissed him, then his hand brushed the line of his crotch, caressing with its back his virility that was slowly becoming hard again, and with exaggerate caution he put a finger into him.<br/>He moved it, little by little, a bit on every side, and when he touched his prostate Squalo jumped with pleasure. Xanxus left his lips and whispered: -Ah... you like it there, I see.- Squalo couldn't answer. He was suffocated from pleasure, and if it wasn't enough Xanxus was insisting on that very spot; he felt the entrance of a second finger, then the world exploded in a white, silent detonation. Xanxus' voice brought him back to the real world: -Be ready, scum, this won't be your last orgasm tonight.<br/>-Voi...- Squalo managed to exhale, then the mattress bent and he opened his eyes. Xanxus, now, was over him, and asked: -Is it enough?<br/>-Well...- an honest answer would have been a no, two fingers were a grass leaf compared to his penis, but Squalo didn't want to push his luck. He was just deciding that maybe having to stand the pain could help him closing the matter, when Xanxus added: -Maybe with some more lube...<br/>-Yeah, alright. Come on, let's just end this.- Squalo bit his tongue. He didn't mean to say it loud, but the words had slip from his mouth and now Xanxus had stiffened. He closed his eyes and prepared to be contradicted, but Xanxus didn't speak; Squalo lifted his eyelids and saw that the Boss was massaging his own penis with a hand that was covered with a generous dose of lube.<br/>He spread his legs, bent his knees and pushed himself down to spread his cheeks too. The familiar touch of Xanxus' virility against his opening was deleterious: for once, the boss had taken aim, and instead of entering like a crazy train he was penetrating him little by little, with sublime slowness. Squalo's virility, which had softened after the orgasm, stiffened back.<br/>-Look at me, Squalo.- the Boss commanded, and he instinctively obeyed. -You wanted me to look at you, so look at me.- Squalo, dumbfolded, held his stare.<br/>Shaken by shivers, confused and frightened by his impossibility to decipher what was going on in Xanxus' mind, Squalo allowed himself to be loved; and yes, this was making love, not mere sex, a fuck to let off the steam, a whim. Squalo's ankles crossed behind Xanxus' back, and the latter bent onward to lean with his left hand on Squalo's right one; the left wandered on the severed arm, then decided to masturbated him.<br/>Xanxus never did so. Squalo twined his fingers with Xanxus', who reciprocated his hold, pressing his hand against the mattress. His penis, meanwhile, went in and out of his body at a languid, cadenced rhythm; the sensation was intoxicating. Instead of feeling something vague and not so pleasing, Squalo could feel Xanxus' virility in his entirety, he felt his own flesh opening around him and the clear, delicate friction against his opening.<br/>-I don't want this to be our last time.- Xanxus stated. His voice was not so firm, but Squalo assumed it was because of the physical effort. He turned his head at one side and with his left arm he lifted the pillow and shoved his face in it.<br/>Xanxus didn't add anything to his previous statement, but he bent over him and started to gently bite Squalo's neck; the latter felt dangerously close to screaming that he didn't want it, either, that he loved him, that he wanted to go on for ever and ever; he pressed the pillow against his mouth.<br/>The sensation of his tongue and his teeth against his neck's tendons, of his virility slowly shovelling inside him, of his hand massaging him, it was all so beautiful that Squalo hoped he could die on the spot. Instead, he arched his back and came over Xanxus' hand; the Boss took advantage of his position to put his hand beneath him, and with a fluid movement he lifted him. Now, Squalo was towering over Xanxus, he was sitting on him and was firmly anchored by his hands and his penis. He crossed his arms around Xanxus' neck and rode him with the little strenght he was left, then Xanxus grunted and ejaculated into him, with countless small spurts, hot and viscous.<br/>Squalo keeled over his shoulder, while sliding from his muscular thighs to the mattress. He said to himself, joylessly, that if Xanxus had asked him to stay in that very moment he would have succumbed to his will.<br/>The silken blankets covered him, and without thinking Squalo laid on one side; Xanxus' arm crept under his, and his voice said: -Stay.- Squalo held in a breath.<br/>-I have nothing to wear for the night.- he improvised, incoherently.<br/>-Take one of my t-shirts. You know where the restroom is.- Squalo sat on the edge of the bed and thought. He could leave in the night, after all with his heart hurting so muck he doubted he could sleep. But going away in that moment, with Xanxus still wide awake, would have been a problem: he would have had to argue, and he knew he didn't have the strenght to fight him back.<br/>Because a part of him, a love drunk and self destructing part of him, really did want to stay.<br/>-Alright.- he gave in, swearing to himself he would leave as soon as Xanxus was asleep. He got up and went to the restroom to rinse himself.</p>
<p>Xanxus opened his ears to listen to Squalo's movements. He heard some running water, then a locker being opened, then nothing more. But he was sure he had noticed every single thing.</p>
<p>-I will have to brush my hair with my fingers, I suppose that baka doesn't have a fucking hairbrush.-Squalo muttered, trying to dissimulate his own crazy heartbeat under a film of false disappointment. He rinsed himself quite crudely, just to avoid going to bed still covered in sperm, then he opened a locker looking for a probably non existing hairbrush.<br/>And he froze.<br/>On the lower shelf there were some hairbands and a hairbrush with boar bristles.<br/>On the second, Aspirin, ibuprofen, arnica and lavender anti-pain ointment and bandages.<br/>On the third, and here Squalo blushed like a little girl, a pack of the pills he used when he had trouble going to the toilet and a tube of zinc oxide. It was all shoved at one side; the remaining space would have been perfect for the vase of lube Xanxus had brought to the bedroom before.<br/>Squalo looked at those things: all the packages were closed, no missing pills. He examined the hairbrush: no hair stuck beneath the bristles.<br/>A tiny film of dust covered the objects, as if they had been lying there for a while.<br/>While he closed the locker to go and ask Xanxus some explanations, his glance fell on the toothbrush holder: there were two of them, an orange one and a blue one. Like the Flames of the Sky and the Flames of the Rain.<br/>And on the shelf under the mirror there was a pack of boxers in his size.<br/>He left the restroom, still naked: -Xanxus.- he called.<br/>-You found everything you need?- Xanxus asked back.<br/>-I... yes.- Squalo answered.<br/>-Your toothbrush is the blue one.- after this last information, the boss said no more, so Squalo entered the restroom again; he put on a pair of boxers, he brushed his hair and tied them up in a long braid and he brushed his teeth, then he took a deep breath and went out. He looked around, lost, then asked: -Where do you keep your t-shirts?<br/>-First drawer.- Xanxus answered, apparently as cold as usual. But yet, he had settled up a locker which was identical to the one he had in his private restroom. Squalo opened the first drawer and burst out: -VOI! It's empty!<br/>-Oh, yeah, I forgot. Mine are in the second one.<br/>-Baka!<br/>-I keep that one free, you know, maybe someday some shithead swordsman finally could decide to leave his clothes and his underpants here.<br/>-VOOOIII?!- Squalo asked, turning around with one of Xanxus' shirts held to his chest.<br/>-You coming to bed or not?- Squalo quickly wore the shirt and got closer, then he hesitated. Not a single thought seemed to be willing to stop and be read, the image of Xanxus waiting for him while lifting up the blankets was too much, just too much.<br/>-So?! My balls are freezing!- Squalo snorted and laid down at his side.<br/>-Baka boss, you always must have what you want, huh?<br/>-Only when I give a fuck about it.- Xanxus answered, covering him; his hand lingered where he had perched, on Squalo's shoulder, his arms on his chest.</p>
<p>Squalo's voice called Xanxus back from the first coils of sleep, that were invading him with the help of the sensation of having that long haired douchebag laying next to him: -Anyway, I was right.<br/>-Mh?- Xanxus snorted.<br/>-You don't know how to be romantic. At all.- Xanxus snapped his lips, then Squalo's closed them with a kiss goodnight.</p>
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<p>“I'm begging you, stay,<br/>just a little longer,<br/>you've always been the one who's stronger,<br/>I can't let you go,<br/>I'm begging you, stay,<br/>stay because I need you,<br/>with every breath I breathe you,<br/>I can't let you walk away...”<br/>-Bon Jovi, Stay</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Xanxus from backstage: -Take off that fucking sloppy song.<br/>GhostClimber: -I can't, I need it to make the title clear. But I'm sure it has nothing to deal with your deepest thoughts when Squalo told you he wanted to leave you. See, we write an official disclaimer and we stick it here, on the fridge, so everyone can see it.<br/>…<br/>Ehm<br/>Woops<br/>Guys, I see that Xanxus produced a gun Inspector Callaghan will be envious of, I better run away before I find myself with some undesired holes somewhere!<br/>Please leave kudos or comments if you liked this!<br/>XOXO</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes, I've got a thing for neck tie knots.<br/>And yes, I think that calling "killer whale" an animal that in history didn't kill a single human being is merely a wasted occasion to call it "sea panda".<br/>I originally wrote this fic in italian, since it's my mother language; the sentence "you don't even know where romanticism lives" is a common pun, the original is "non sai neanche dove sta di casa", meaning one has not the slightest idea of what a thing is. I decided to keep the phrase this way, since Varia Mansion is stated to be in Italy and I assume they know and use the language!<br/>I hope you have enjoyed this first chapter, if you want let me know by a comment or kudos, it would be much appreciated!<br/>See you soon for the next part!<br/>XOXO</p></blockquote></div></div>
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